I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
