Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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