turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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