Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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