i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think i got beer on your cat.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
