Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize