In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize