so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
