Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
