I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
