was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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