Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
