Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
