You're so nebulous sometimes
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
