Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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