She's JV to your varsity
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
