just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize