Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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