my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
