butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So squirting runs in the family.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
