I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
