fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
A+ Viking dick
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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