KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
