So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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