There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize