did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
