We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
