he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
