they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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