They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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