The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
