Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
