Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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