im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
