i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize