my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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