What a fucking waste of an outfit
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize