So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
