So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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