party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
