I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
