hotel room ftw
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
