My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
