I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
