eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
