Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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