Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
