Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the liver wants what the liver wants
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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