apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
