with your own penis?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
