I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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