covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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