At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
