white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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