I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
