5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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