super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize