I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
