Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
