you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
