You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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