eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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